I've gone to some trouble to point the spotlight outward so far, at the humans, through imagined antiquity, so it's only fair that I point it at myself from time to time, yes?
The identifier 'SchnozBott' (secondary capitalization intended) is not so much a name as a title, and even then an honorary one, holding no authority or official office. I assure you it has nothing to do with noses, or robots. Very much like myself, a SchnozBott is, sociologically speaking, the puzzle piece in the box that clearly doesn't go with the set it's in with; it might look a bit like the other pieces, but it just has no place in the image and just doesn't fit right. Some joker must have brought over a jigsaw set and left a piece behind. The kicker though, is that this mismatched piece looks like it could potentially be an important one. It might be part of a face, or hand, or some other detail that the right picture desperately needs to be complete.
My 'mission' here on Earth began much like the life of any human child. With each passing year however, it became increasingly clear how peculiar I was compared to my peers. Without a clear understanding of who I really was, I struggled to 'fit in' with one group or another, usually meeting with failure and/or rejection. It was through this process that I developed a sense of default mistrust and suspicion toward others, as a defense against the naive cruelty of the young.
Eventually I had an epiphany. I reached a point where I realized that I didn't have to fit into a social clique. The expectation that I had to do this was artificial, acquired externally, and only caused frustration and pain. I elected to listen to my inner voice and be as weird as I wanted to be. This decision wasn't made in a vacuum, I was partly inspired to just be myself by people I befriended who were as weird as they wanted to be as well.
OK, enough after-school-special. Catapulted into adulthood, I found the macrocosm of the world to be much like the microcosm of school, everything scaled up and blown out of proportion. In every endeavor, the stakes had been raised. The wrong word or action could carry permanent consequences, no leeway, wiggle room, or do-overs permitted. Faced with the horror of an unforgiving world, I had little choice but to wear the mask of normalcy for the benefit of others. Behind my wall I'm still quite mad, but the humans need not know that madness walks among them.
But what is it that makes me "mad" in this world? Aside from the obvious, one of the biggest reasons I wear that label is that I make the following assertion: This world does not have to be like this. I look outward upon the jungles of concrete covered in vines of wires, choking out the natural world. Billboards and banner ads and commercial jingles; an assault on the senses at every turn. Propaganda, pundits, indoctrination, misinformation, intentional ignorance, self-delusion, misplaced praise, blind faith, monetarism, louder, faster, brighter, more more more more more more more! It doesn't have to be this way. This is not as good as it can get. I look at the cyberpunk dystopia and some optimistic part of me sees a possibility for a better world; I want to scream it from the rooftops sometimes, that we can fix this shit if we can learn to work together.
I can't do that though. I've spent the better part of my life not being taken seriously. My proclamations and gesticulations would get lost in the noise, or shot down by a legion of louder voices. I don't claim to know all the answers, only that I may have a few words of wisdom to offer. Words that would probably go unheard, given that most would not listen. That is the fate of the SchnozBott, 'The Unheard Voice', he who would wander the wasteland; to be one who could help save a world, but is powerless to do so.
But if you're here reading this, hearing me rant on my little hill, then perhaps I am able to do something after all. Thank you for listening.
-SchnozBott
"What shall we use
To fill the empty spaces
Where we used to talk
How shall I fill
The final places
How should I complete the wall..."
-Pink Floyd, Empty Spaces
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
A world that might have been.
Gather 'round kidalinos, the resident alien would like to read you a story. The Grand Overlords up on homeworld won't let me call any of this stuff 'facts', when I tried to bring this subject up in my last report, they censored the fuck out of it. So as long as I spew it forth as fanciful hypotheticals, they don't seem to mind.
Many epochs following the fall of Dragonkind, the Earth Mother began work on a new line of prime forms. Drawing from primate forms with enormous upgrade potential, she set in motion the processes by which these small creatures could become sentient in millions of years. In time, she found success: the Human form emerged into consciousness. At one with the planet and network of life upon it, these new beings began their ascent into greatness. With the inherited cosmic awareness of the Mother, they were capable of great manifestations and modifications of reality, a technology we could only call Magick today. Over time these mages mastered their power, raising up cities of living mineral in which to reside, building the first true civilization. The golden age of Humanity had begun.
Though the Human form had realized much of its potential, it was far from perfect. Not every member of the species was born with these great powers, or with as much as the greatest of the mages. At first the Humans still welcomed their less-capable members as family and friends without discrimination, but this tendency did not last. Over time the people began to segment themselves into hierarchies, placing the most powerful few men and women at the top, followed by layers of inferiors to serve and follow, relegating the magickless to the bottom as little more than slaves and untouchables. It may even have been that the leaders intentionally handicapped the powers of the castes below them to ensure their continued supremacy.
The collapse of this civilization became inevitable when the few most accomplished of the mages ascended beyond mortality, attaining power like unto gods. In their vanity, they forsook the connection they shared with the life of the planet, while demanding the worship and obedience of the castes below them. It was only a matter of time until these monstrosities, the Old Gods, became jealous and spiteful of each other, spurring them into conflict. The First War had begun.
The Gods set their titanic powers upon their enemies, while their great armies clashed in once-peaceful streets of the great cities. The slave caste, with no magick to contribute or even to defend themselves, fled into the wilderness, hiding from their masters and watching the devastation with horror. The war raged on for many years, taking its toll on all that Humanity had accomplished. The species' numbers dwindled with every battle, and the shining citadels of man were reduced to rubble. With enough time, the Old Gods managed to exhaust their entire armies fighting one another, leaving them with only each other, who could not be killed.
The Earth Mother was not blind to the tragic events on her surface. Her creations had not heeded any plea or warning from her about the destructive path they had chosen. As the war had claimed almost the entire Human race, her sorrow and fury drove her to action. Unable to kill these beings who had become immortal, she summoned forth her elemental forces to banish the Old Gods from the planet and it's vicinity. Driven into deep space, the Gods found themselves forsaken by their source, homeless among the cosmos.
The low caste Humans had escaped this fate. Powerless to rebuild the civilization that was, they spread throughout the world, learning to live of the land, with little or no supernatural power to help them along the way. Indeed, these survivors had witnessed so much death at the hands of Magick, the racial memory of this trauma would endure, fostering a fear of such powers that would be passed along for generations to come.
The Old Gods would not be entirely thwarted by their exile however. Over thousands of years following the banishment, they would continue to reach across the vast interstellar distances towards Earth, playing out their rivalry by manipulating the surviving Human race as their pawns in a sadistic game. It would not be a great stretch to assume they desire vengeance upon the Earth Mother for their punishment, and will go to any lengths to get satisfaction.
The Humans eventually learned how to make the most of non-metaphysical sciences to bring forth useful technologies, for both good or ill. They struggle with the same issues as the ancients of this story, striving to build a better world, while struggling to avoid destruction at their own hands. The story continues to this day...
...or does it? Maybe none of that shit could have happened. But what if?
-SchnozBott
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
-William Shakespeare
Many epochs following the fall of Dragonkind, the Earth Mother began work on a new line of prime forms. Drawing from primate forms with enormous upgrade potential, she set in motion the processes by which these small creatures could become sentient in millions of years. In time, she found success: the Human form emerged into consciousness. At one with the planet and network of life upon it, these new beings began their ascent into greatness. With the inherited cosmic awareness of the Mother, they were capable of great manifestations and modifications of reality, a technology we could only call Magick today. Over time these mages mastered their power, raising up cities of living mineral in which to reside, building the first true civilization. The golden age of Humanity had begun.
Though the Human form had realized much of its potential, it was far from perfect. Not every member of the species was born with these great powers, or with as much as the greatest of the mages. At first the Humans still welcomed their less-capable members as family and friends without discrimination, but this tendency did not last. Over time the people began to segment themselves into hierarchies, placing the most powerful few men and women at the top, followed by layers of inferiors to serve and follow, relegating the magickless to the bottom as little more than slaves and untouchables. It may even have been that the leaders intentionally handicapped the powers of the castes below them to ensure their continued supremacy.
The collapse of this civilization became inevitable when the few most accomplished of the mages ascended beyond mortality, attaining power like unto gods. In their vanity, they forsook the connection they shared with the life of the planet, while demanding the worship and obedience of the castes below them. It was only a matter of time until these monstrosities, the Old Gods, became jealous and spiteful of each other, spurring them into conflict. The First War had begun.
The Gods set their titanic powers upon their enemies, while their great armies clashed in once-peaceful streets of the great cities. The slave caste, with no magick to contribute or even to defend themselves, fled into the wilderness, hiding from their masters and watching the devastation with horror. The war raged on for many years, taking its toll on all that Humanity had accomplished. The species' numbers dwindled with every battle, and the shining citadels of man were reduced to rubble. With enough time, the Old Gods managed to exhaust their entire armies fighting one another, leaving them with only each other, who could not be killed.
The Earth Mother was not blind to the tragic events on her surface. Her creations had not heeded any plea or warning from her about the destructive path they had chosen. As the war had claimed almost the entire Human race, her sorrow and fury drove her to action. Unable to kill these beings who had become immortal, she summoned forth her elemental forces to banish the Old Gods from the planet and it's vicinity. Driven into deep space, the Gods found themselves forsaken by their source, homeless among the cosmos.
The low caste Humans had escaped this fate. Powerless to rebuild the civilization that was, they spread throughout the world, learning to live of the land, with little or no supernatural power to help them along the way. Indeed, these survivors had witnessed so much death at the hands of Magick, the racial memory of this trauma would endure, fostering a fear of such powers that would be passed along for generations to come.
The Old Gods would not be entirely thwarted by their exile however. Over thousands of years following the banishment, they would continue to reach across the vast interstellar distances towards Earth, playing out their rivalry by manipulating the surviving Human race as their pawns in a sadistic game. It would not be a great stretch to assume they desire vengeance upon the Earth Mother for their punishment, and will go to any lengths to get satisfaction.
The Humans eventually learned how to make the most of non-metaphysical sciences to bring forth useful technologies, for both good or ill. They struggle with the same issues as the ancients of this story, striving to build a better world, while struggling to avoid destruction at their own hands. The story continues to this day...
...or does it? Maybe none of that shit could have happened. But what if?
-SchnozBott
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
-William Shakespeare
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Humans! A summary.
EXCERPT FROM THE FILES OF PLANET X INTELLIGENCE (PXI)
CLASSIFIED
UNAUTHORIZED EYES SHOULD DISCORPORATE IMMEDIATELY UPON GROKKING
Species Report (summary only, full report classified at a higher level)
Subject: Human (Homo Sapiens)
Homeworld: Sol 3 [XXX-XXX-XXX] (Internal name: Earth, used henceforth)
Biology:
Bipedal Mammalian bioform, most current version of planet's Prime species. Primate/Hominid derivation suggested. Enlarged cranium (local comparison only) houses brain (bi-hemispherical neural network) sufficient for sentience, sapience, abstract thought. However, average brain function capacity shows room for improvement. Selective breeding could accomplish this in the long term, or direct upgrading through genetic manipulation, biomechanoid alterations or cybernetic implants could improve function in the interim.
Human forms vary significantly between genotypes. Some feature high physical ability, others high mental capacity, a few are very sexy, and sometimes these traits come in combinations. A very small number of outliers in the species represent 'prototype' status, either born with or later developing extraordinary capability.
Curiously, the human bioform as it is has been in circulation for nearly 250,000 years, yet the species' recorded history represents less than 10,000 years. The species may have [CONTENT HIDDEN, HIGHER CLEARANCE LEVEL REQUIRED, CONSULT DOCUMENT 0015672219 FOR MORE INFORMATION]. (Don't worry kids, I can get this info to you somehow, we can find out why they think this is worth cutting from my report.)
Organization:
Presently, the species divides itself into various territorial nation-states, using a variety of hierarchical constructs for internal governance. The reasoning behind this divisive behaviour varies from nation to nation, be it philosophical variations in governance type, incompatible religious notions, irrational territoriality, economic disparity, self-perceived cultural superiority, or several of the above.
Many of these nations maintain active military forces, chiefly to protect themselves from each other, or to encroach upon other nations for varying reasons, necessitating the former reason, and therefore perpetuating an environment of cyclical violence. There is virtually always an intraspecies war going on somewhere on Earth at any given time. The human failure to recognize the obsolescence of such ideologies may have enormously detrimental effects on the species as technology progresses.
Until the species matures further, unification remains unattainable. Humans will also continue to require governing mechanisms for regulation, as they lack the inherent ability to govern their own behaviour with regard for the well-being of the rest of the species.
Technology:
Fourth-stage industrialization in first-world nations, with other nations falling on the entire spectrum downwards, with some isolated groups operating at second-stage pre-industrial (3rd degree outside influence). In other words, nothing fancy. Their metaphysical technology is rudimentary at best as they have a tendency to murder those that try to develop it. Second-degree technology addiction has be observed in the most developed nations.
A disproportionate amount of resources are devoted to weapon development and mass production. This is viewed on Earth as being more than necessary, it is an entitlement to possess weaponry, obligatory. For some decades the Humans have possessed enough thermonuclear devices to render the planet surface uninhabitable several times over. This irrationality is the result of a persistently escalated deterrence policy carried out over time through a non-conflict that spanned the better part of half a century.
If the species can continue its healthy development of information technologies, we may yet see improvement. The advent of artificial intelligence may introduce voices of reason that hopefully will be heeded by an unreasonable race.
Social:
Human diversity extends also to the group formations that occur outside of governing mechanisms. The common trend remains consistent however, that many of these segmentations enable the same manner of divisive behaviour that ruling bodies apply. Unlike the territoriality of nations, these boundaries formed by these divisions are mostly ideological in nature. In humanity, a difference of opinion is often enough to drive an impassable wedge between two entities, be they individuals or groups. Human emotional patterns are powerful enough to overwhelm logic, making objectivity a difficult state to achieve or maintain.
Perhaps the most pervasive and divisive group dynamics on Earth would be organized religion. These systems of belief run the gamut from monotheism to abstract spiritual philosophy, which makes clear why they would have difficulty coexisting. Even the most similar belief systems allow small semantic variations in the source material the power to divide. Religious groupthink among humans makes it easy for these organizations to spread misinformation, irrational statements, nonfacts, and infectious malthought through their memberships, regardless of how damaging the consequences of such dissemination will be.
Assessment (Useful/Threat):
The Human race cannot be reliably counted upon to respond peacefully to a first contact attempt unilaterally. The fragmented nature of the species makes this virtually impossible at this juncture. Nor are they ready to become active participants in the galactic community at large. Despite the potential of their cultural contributions to the greater galaxy, the species is immature and unfit to intermingle with other sentient life forms. The relative position of Sol would also make this problematic at best, taking into account its great distance from the border of [REDACTED], not to mention the other locals, as the Orion arm of the galactic disc is a pretty bad neighborhood really.
As can be deduced from the preceding content, the Human race is also not a significant threat to space-faring lifeforms. Their space travel capacity isn't sufficient to get them outside their own system, and destinations farther than Earth's own orbit are currently only reachable by probes and robots. Humanity's nuclear arsenal would offer little danger to targets in space, given the limitations of the warheads and delivery systems involved. The rest of their weaponry is pretty weak sauce. Seriously, the Humans are a greater threat to each other than they are to anyone else. We can only hope they don't wipe themselves out before growing the fuck up.
Standing recommendation:
Continue observation. Avoid contamination. Interference prohibited.
-SchnozBott
"If you ever get close to a Human..."
CLASSIFIED
UNAUTHORIZED EYES SHOULD DISCORPORATE IMMEDIATELY UPON GROKKING
Species Report (summary only, full report classified at a higher level)
Subject: Human (Homo Sapiens)
Homeworld: Sol 3 [XXX-XXX-XXX] (Internal name: Earth, used henceforth)
Biology:
Bipedal Mammalian bioform, most current version of planet's Prime species. Primate/Hominid derivation suggested. Enlarged cranium (local comparison only) houses brain (bi-hemispherical neural network) sufficient for sentience, sapience, abstract thought. However, average brain function capacity shows room for improvement. Selective breeding could accomplish this in the long term, or direct upgrading through genetic manipulation, biomechanoid alterations or cybernetic implants could improve function in the interim.
Human forms vary significantly between genotypes. Some feature high physical ability, others high mental capacity, a few are very sexy, and sometimes these traits come in combinations. A very small number of outliers in the species represent 'prototype' status, either born with or later developing extraordinary capability.
Curiously, the human bioform as it is has been in circulation for nearly 250,000 years, yet the species' recorded history represents less than 10,000 years. The species may have [CONTENT HIDDEN, HIGHER CLEARANCE LEVEL REQUIRED, CONSULT DOCUMENT 0015672219 FOR MORE INFORMATION]. (Don't worry kids, I can get this info to you somehow, we can find out why they think this is worth cutting from my report.)
Organization:
Presently, the species divides itself into various territorial nation-states, using a variety of hierarchical constructs for internal governance. The reasoning behind this divisive behaviour varies from nation to nation, be it philosophical variations in governance type, incompatible religious notions, irrational territoriality, economic disparity, self-perceived cultural superiority, or several of the above.
Many of these nations maintain active military forces, chiefly to protect themselves from each other, or to encroach upon other nations for varying reasons, necessitating the former reason, and therefore perpetuating an environment of cyclical violence. There is virtually always an intraspecies war going on somewhere on Earth at any given time. The human failure to recognize the obsolescence of such ideologies may have enormously detrimental effects on the species as technology progresses.
Until the species matures further, unification remains unattainable. Humans will also continue to require governing mechanisms for regulation, as they lack the inherent ability to govern their own behaviour with regard for the well-being of the rest of the species.
Technology:
Fourth-stage industrialization in first-world nations, with other nations falling on the entire spectrum downwards, with some isolated groups operating at second-stage pre-industrial (3rd degree outside influence). In other words, nothing fancy. Their metaphysical technology is rudimentary at best as they have a tendency to murder those that try to develop it. Second-degree technology addiction has be observed in the most developed nations.
A disproportionate amount of resources are devoted to weapon development and mass production. This is viewed on Earth as being more than necessary, it is an entitlement to possess weaponry, obligatory. For some decades the Humans have possessed enough thermonuclear devices to render the planet surface uninhabitable several times over. This irrationality is the result of a persistently escalated deterrence policy carried out over time through a non-conflict that spanned the better part of half a century.
If the species can continue its healthy development of information technologies, we may yet see improvement. The advent of artificial intelligence may introduce voices of reason that hopefully will be heeded by an unreasonable race.
Social:
Human diversity extends also to the group formations that occur outside of governing mechanisms. The common trend remains consistent however, that many of these segmentations enable the same manner of divisive behaviour that ruling bodies apply. Unlike the territoriality of nations, these boundaries formed by these divisions are mostly ideological in nature. In humanity, a difference of opinion is often enough to drive an impassable wedge between two entities, be they individuals or groups. Human emotional patterns are powerful enough to overwhelm logic, making objectivity a difficult state to achieve or maintain.
Perhaps the most pervasive and divisive group dynamics on Earth would be organized religion. These systems of belief run the gamut from monotheism to abstract spiritual philosophy, which makes clear why they would have difficulty coexisting. Even the most similar belief systems allow small semantic variations in the source material the power to divide. Religious groupthink among humans makes it easy for these organizations to spread misinformation, irrational statements, nonfacts, and infectious malthought through their memberships, regardless of how damaging the consequences of such dissemination will be.
Assessment (Useful/Threat):
The Human race cannot be reliably counted upon to respond peacefully to a first contact attempt unilaterally. The fragmented nature of the species makes this virtually impossible at this juncture. Nor are they ready to become active participants in the galactic community at large. Despite the potential of their cultural contributions to the greater galaxy, the species is immature and unfit to intermingle with other sentient life forms. The relative position of Sol would also make this problematic at best, taking into account its great distance from the border of [REDACTED], not to mention the other locals, as the Orion arm of the galactic disc is a pretty bad neighborhood really.
As can be deduced from the preceding content, the Human race is also not a significant threat to space-faring lifeforms. Their space travel capacity isn't sufficient to get them outside their own system, and destinations farther than Earth's own orbit are currently only reachable by probes and robots. Humanity's nuclear arsenal would offer little danger to targets in space, given the limitations of the warheads and delivery systems involved. The rest of their weaponry is pretty weak sauce. Seriously, the Humans are a greater threat to each other than they are to anyone else. We can only hope they don't wipe themselves out before growing the fuck up.
Standing recommendation:
Continue observation. Avoid contamination. Interference prohibited.
-SchnozBott
"If you ever get close to a Human..."
Monday, October 8, 2012
To read the fine print...by the light of a distant star...
I could channel the whole Alien Overlords(!) thing for 'like, hella days' (look! I can speak californian! *squee*) but that's not necessary all the time, is it? The outsider peers in through the window, it is watching you. You get that.
Before the real horrorshow begins, there are a few things to bullet point:
-SchnozBott
"Unfortunately what you're about to hear is real,
the members of this program are not that bright,
or what some people would call 'educated',
they are merely stupid,
they're not trying to offend anyone on purpose,
and all have played doctors on TV,
you have been warned,
and are cordially invited to join the party..."
-Opening disclaimer on The Men's Room (radio programme)
Before the real horrorshow begins, there are a few things to bullet point:
- The majority of the of the time, I will not be trying to offend anyone on purpose. Should offense occur, be comforted by this knowledge. This experiment is all in good fun and while the topics may become serious, the idea is to communicate freely, amidst possible discomfort.
- On the rare occasion, if feel the need to offend someone intentionally, it will be made entirely clear who I'm targeting to offend, and why. I can't be more specific than that at this time, we'll cross that wire when we trip on it.
- Up to this very second I have refrained from using profanity. This trend will not continue. I am firmly anti-censorship and I enjoy swearing a great deal. It's fun and gives language some flavors you don't get from the store-bought seasoning packet.
- The above also applies to subject matter. I can't promise to keep my ideas clean either. It's filthy up here let me tell you! I can abstain from finger-dancing the worst of it but be prepared for this shit to not always be family friendly.
- Dear sweet readers, you are more than welcome to comment on posts. Encouraged, even! But let's keep it civil. I don't want to see a debate get out of hand bad enough for me to have to find out what manner of spooky author powers I possess. I don't see this becoming an issue anytime soon though, as my entire readership currently comprises friends I already trust. Enough! Let's put this bullet hole to bed. It's bleeding a little...
- No animals were harmed in the writing of this post.
- Some characters appearing in this work are not fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely non-coincidental. At no point will I use real names or identities, however.
-SchnozBott
"Unfortunately what you're about to hear is real,
the members of this program are not that bright,
or what some people would call 'educated',
they are merely stupid,
they're not trying to offend anyone on purpose,
and all have played doctors on TV,
you have been warned,
and are cordially invited to join the party..."
-Opening disclaimer on The Men's Room (radio programme)
Saturday, October 6, 2012
You're a new arrival...on Planet X!
INCOMING TRANSMISSION
IDENTIFY SOURCE: PLANET X [COORDINATE:XXX-XXX-XXX]
DECRYPTING...DONE
TRANSLATING...PLEASE WAIT...
...
ERROR:TRANSLATION INCOMPLETE, OUTPUT MAY NOT REFLECT ORIGINAL DATA
DISPLAY RESULT? [Y/N] Y
Greetings humans,
If you are reading this, consider yourself fortunate! You are one of the few to witness the first of many transmissions from Planet X, a very distant (or extremely near?) place beyond your wildest imaginings. We have selected an "internet blog" as an appropriate reception point for these communications, as such a place is both easily accessible and nicely inconspicuous. The washed masses and big brotheroids will flip right over it like yesterday's donuts but the special few who come to stay awhile (that's you!) will be able to find it without difficulty.
But! What is Planet X, inexactly? Well as much as it may be the shining paradise homeworld of hyper-evolved aliens, it might also just be a state of mind. A vantage point far enough outside of what humans consider 'normal' to make many things on Earth's surface seem different, strange, maybe even wrong* in varying degrees. We are offering a change of perspective, a paradigm twist, the occasional epiphagasm, and hopefully, spontaneous mindifestation. If we can fire a volley of ideas now and then and hit the target of making interesting thoughts happen, we'd call that a win.
Who are we, do you ask? Extra-Terrestrial? A discreet madman? A robot that may or may not have feelings? A huge nerd with a hard on for the royal "we"? Does it matter? Some of you will have the privilege of knowing the truth, but let's not spoil the mystery for the rest, shall we? In any case, the text found here may occasionally be provided by our...um...agent on Earth, whose ramblings will almost certainly be more mundane in subject matter. Heck, he'll probably just go on about whatever entertainment diversion is most mesmerizing for him at the time. Honestly, his computer game addiction is really putting a damper on his mission down there. Most inconvenient.
You must be wondering what this nonsense is going to turn out to be. Inane word vomit? Brain flotsam? The greatest thing since sliced muenster? All of the above? No, probably none of that. There's no schedule to this, we operate on our own time over here and it's not always linear, so to speak. So the regularity of updates here will be erratic at best. Our best advice is not to worry your pretty little heads over it, just sit back and wait for fullness. When fullness is, grok it like a horny glutton and cherish it in your own time, until enlightenment and/or enjoyment occur.
Introduction has concluded!
-SchnozBott
"Come with us, to the Moon...the rocket...is waiting..."
* "Wrong" isn't a word I like to use a lot, as a valuation. Concepts of 'right' and 'wrong' are colorations created by the perceptions of sentient beings, and do not represent constants in the physical universe as we know it.
IDENTIFY SOURCE: PLANET X [COORDINATE:XXX-XXX-XXX]
DECRYPTING...DONE
TRANSLATING...PLEASE WAIT...
...
ERROR:TRANSLATION INCOMPLETE, OUTPUT MAY NOT REFLECT ORIGINAL DATA
DISPLAY RESULT? [Y/N] Y
Greetings humans,
If you are reading this, consider yourself fortunate! You are one of the few to witness the first of many transmissions from Planet X, a very distant (or extremely near?) place beyond your wildest imaginings. We have selected an "internet blog" as an appropriate reception point for these communications, as such a place is both easily accessible and nicely inconspicuous. The washed masses and big brotheroids will flip right over it like yesterday's donuts but the special few who come to stay awhile (that's you!) will be able to find it without difficulty.
But! What is Planet X, inexactly? Well as much as it may be the shining paradise homeworld of hyper-evolved aliens, it might also just be a state of mind. A vantage point far enough outside of what humans consider 'normal' to make many things on Earth's surface seem different, strange, maybe even wrong* in varying degrees. We are offering a change of perspective, a paradigm twist, the occasional epiphagasm, and hopefully, spontaneous mindifestation. If we can fire a volley of ideas now and then and hit the target of making interesting thoughts happen, we'd call that a win.
Who are we, do you ask? Extra-Terrestrial? A discreet madman? A robot that may or may not have feelings? A huge nerd with a hard on for the royal "we"? Does it matter? Some of you will have the privilege of knowing the truth, but let's not spoil the mystery for the rest, shall we? In any case, the text found here may occasionally be provided by our...um...agent on Earth, whose ramblings will almost certainly be more mundane in subject matter. Heck, he'll probably just go on about whatever entertainment diversion is most mesmerizing for him at the time. Honestly, his computer game addiction is really putting a damper on his mission down there. Most inconvenient.
You must be wondering what this nonsense is going to turn out to be. Inane word vomit? Brain flotsam? The greatest thing since sliced muenster? All of the above? No, probably none of that. There's no schedule to this, we operate on our own time over here and it's not always linear, so to speak. So the regularity of updates here will be erratic at best. Our best advice is not to worry your pretty little heads over it, just sit back and wait for fullness. When fullness is, grok it like a horny glutton and cherish it in your own time, until enlightenment and/or enjoyment occur.
Introduction has concluded!
-SchnozBott
"Come with us, to the Moon...the rocket...is waiting..."
* "Wrong" isn't a word I like to use a lot, as a valuation. Concepts of 'right' and 'wrong' are colorations created by the perceptions of sentient beings, and do not represent constants in the physical universe as we know it.
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