To read the fine print...by the light of a distant star...

I could channel the whole Alien Overlords(!) thing for 'like, hella days' (look! I can speak californian! *squee*) but that's not necessary all the time, is it?  The outsider peers in through the window, it is watching you.  You get that.

Before the real horrorshow begins, there are a few things to bullet point:

• The majority of the of the time, I will not be trying to offend anyone on purpose.  Should offense occur, be comforted by this knowledge.  This experiment is all in good fun and while the topics may become serious, the idea is to communicate freely, amidst possible discomfort.
• On the rare occasion, if feel the need to offend someone intentionally, it will be made entirely clear who I'm targeting to offend, and why.  I can't be more specific than that at this time, we'll cross that wire when we trip on it.
• Up to this very second I have refrained from using profanity.  This trend will not continue.  I am firmly anti-censorship and I enjoy swearing a great deal.  It's fun and gives language some flavors you don't get from the store-bought seasoning packet.  
• The above also applies to subject matter.  I can't promise to keep my ideas clean either.  It's filthy up here let me tell you!  I can abstain from finger-dancing the worst of it but be prepared for this shit to not always be family friendly.
• Dear sweet readers, you are more than welcome to comment on posts.  Encouraged, even!  But let's keep it civil.  I don't want to see a debate get out of hand bad enough for me to have to find out what manner of spooky author powers I possess.  I don't see this becoming an issue anytime soon though, as my entire readership currently comprises friends I already trust.  Enough!  Let's put this bullet hole to bed.  It's bleeding a little...
• No animals were harmed in the writing of this post.
• Some characters appearing in this work are not fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely non-coincidental.  At no point will I use real names or identities, however.

Right!  That covers the important bits.  I'll do my utmost to never be this pedestrian again.

-SchnozBott

"Unfortunately what you're about to hear is real,
the members of this program are not that bright,
or what some people would call 'educated',
they are merely stupid,
they're not trying to offend anyone on purpose, 
and all have played doctors on TV, 
you have been warned,
and are cordially invited to join the party..."
-Opening disclaimer on The Men's Room (radio programme)